Inspiration

Here’s why you should not be a ‘people pleaser’

You want people to like you, don’t you? There is a disturbing feeling in your chest when you get to know that someone dislikes you. You obsess over the reasons of their dislike towards you, driving yourself crazy with weird speculations. And although it is okay to be a bit irked when you experience such behavior from someone, what is not okay is to let that single reason drive you into pits of despair.

After all, we all are human and tend to hate people with or without any significant reason. There’s no need to beat oneself up over it.

You’ll come across many people who wouldn’t like you. No matter how much you try to be an amazing person overall, there will always be some people who’ll find faults, for a plethora of reasons ranging from completely valid to downright stupid, sometimes with no reason at all. This is a fact which shouldn’t disturb you, for you shouldn’t seek validation from someone who obviously doesn’t care enough to actually get to know you, rather than just hating you for no reason whatsoever.

Many people try too hard to be liked by everyone, always trying to say the right things, always trying to do what is right in others’ eyes, often losing the true essence of who they really are and trying to fit in everywhere, even where they are meant to stand out.

Often such a ‘people pleasing’ behavior stems from a wide range of insecurities and a low self esteem which forces you to seek external validation, in order to feel better about yourself.

I remember reading somewhere – “Many people hate you, because of the way other people love you.” And this is so true, for many people’s hatred is deeply driven by their feelings of jealousy towards you. Maybe they don’t like how you are succeeding in life while they are just lacking behind or maybe they don’t like how you’ve a lot of people who  admire you who are equally or more successful whereas they have too few or none at all. They dislike you because you have what they want. They throw distasteful looks and bitter remarks upon you to bring you down, for they know they can’t rise to your level. This is the only convenient way (according to them) to feel better about themselves. The conclusion is that their feelings don’t define who you are. The unpleasantness they shower upon you is just a glimpse of their own bitter soul and you play no role in that.

Keeping all this in mind, you should also remember that sometimes, you do hurt people due to some reason or the other, either unknowingly or knowingly.

So keep a forgiving heart to those who have wronged you and an apologetic soul for those whom you have wronged.

And also remember that everyone is different and two different people may have opposing views on various topics which you can do nothing about, but keep an open mind and try to find a middle ground. If you realize you are wrong, be humble and accept your mistake with a good spirit and if you are right, just be happy to walk away with your head held high and your true views unscathed.

Ruchi Meghwal
Hey, I am Ruchi Meghwal, a 11th Arts student from Kota, Rajasthan.
I am an avid reader and a poet.

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