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Bittersweet coming out

"When I was little Kartik, I knew I was different from other cool guys in my school. Growing up gay wasn't easy because students are very immature, they know the least about life and can be really judgemental. I've been through all.


Me and my twin brother were in same schols and same similar classes, so being with him the whole time in classroom affected my personality development because I wasn't able to open up about myself. I would feel shy and embarrassed. I Iever liked talking to people about me being gay because I was reminded to me it's unnatural and it's a phase, it'll go away, I had to be cautious of my brother, if he'll get to know "How will he react?", "What will happen at home?", and other disturbing thoughts that's why I stayed reserved around him. I always used to hit on boys in my 10th grade, because of puberty, I felt a sexual attraction towards them and I didn't know that it's wrong or people are going to have a judge me and call me names.


I was mostly found around girls and for the same I've been bullied for being effeminate, 'not act like a guy', being a weirdo, not being 'cool' like my twin brother, and I remember crying about it, feeling bad about myself and hating myself even more because those people didn't like me.


After 2016, I graduated my 12th class and I came to college, things started changing I made new friends who were open minded, intellectual, welcoming, accepting, warm and genuine. I felt happy being surrounded with them but I never opened up about my sexuality. Then one fine day, I gathered all my courage, will, strength and courage to open up about my sexuality and they laughed and said "Kartik, we already knew" They accepted me and that meant so much to me. I felt so shivering and I felt so happy. After an year, I opened up on my Instagram and people congratulated and supported me, gave me warm wishes and I felt loved and accepted. Also, now my siblings know it too and they accept me which means the world to me.

I am blessed to be this person."

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