By- Versha Vaishnav
I need someone in my dark to light up my life n there I got my diary🌸🌸

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Versha Vaishnav

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I wish I was a robot without feelings

Came so far from this fake world to love me now.

People say I am selfish. Ahhh!!! Leave it, it's all useless now.

I have my story. Do you wanna know?

Umm...I wish I had no feelings for those people who judged my feelings for themselves. I loved them for real. But I think I showed my concern for someone who didn't know a bit about love and care.


Sitting by the window, I used to think a lot for some people whom I loved so much but they showed almost no interest in me.

Was I wrong or my love for them?

What was the reason for that?

With tears in my eyes, I smiled...."Give Respect Get Respect" there's a proverb we all would have heard it. Unfortunately, But does that apply in my story.

No.

Because I had no one to love me even at my best, when I loved, cared for them with my whole heart at their worst. I guess people love each other for outer beauty, not for inner beauty. I acted as if my life was comfortable, but they thought I was blessed to have this life. They judged me for what I showed them. And at that point, many people like me failed to express their inner selves because they wouldn't understand because they didn't know my story. That was where I lost my existence in their lives. They ignored my feelings like there were no feelings I had.

I used to cry at night and Every night I used to put questions to God. Why it was so hard to live like this when I had no one to love, but couldn't hate people for not loving me and used to hope that next night I would have given an answer but see even my God ignored me there, so what to talk about people.


My every night went the same way. I was all alone in this world of 7 billion people. I heard it somewhere that " God has created someone for everyone." But I guess he forgot me because he had a lot of people to create one for.


Why??

What was the reason for that?

From crying every night to smiling every day, I started doubting my love for those people. I sacrificed myself every night asking for love.

Was someone there for me or not?

I had no one for myself to cry and laugh with and people thought I was satisfied with my life. I had thousands of questions to ask, but no one to answer.

Either I didn't matter to them or they thought they didn't matter to me. I was in confusion but I didn't have someone to help me come out of it. I decided to hide my feelings. It didn't make me happy then I promised myself to not let it hurt me anymore.

Wasn't that beautiful and hurting because people only needed me when they were in need of love. For a while I thought, where were you when I asked you for the same. No matter what I did, they judged me without knowing me, my love, inner self.

Then I gave a break from my feelings for some people and I felt relaxed.

I wished I had no feelings then. So it wouldn't have hurt me either.

Does this world hold that power to judge me?

Absolutely no.

I Changed myself from loving them to love myself.

It was more important for me than loving those worthless people.

Those people have shown me that I have reasons for loving myself.

Me of yesterday, me of today, me of tomorrow.

I am learning how to love myself with no exceptions now it's all-new me.


I love myself

You? Better be


Thank you🦋



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