By- Suguna P J
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Suguna P J


Modern Dating

Reality Check

There are people who are shy, extroverts, introverts and many other personalities. But when it comes to dating, we all just want to meet a person, get instantly attracted to them, get to know them, develop a bond, and eventually fall in love. Sounds great and easy, right? Well, not in this day and age and here’s why-

In my opinion, romance is a concept made completely by humans. we have been conditioned to believe through our sources of entertainment, dictating the way we should and should not be behaving with our partner. As much as the old ideas of romanticism are sweet and cute. They are more problematic. But the modern dating isn’t as rewarding as we think it is. Now that we have understood the underlying problems of those ideas and the unrealistic expectations we have been promoting, like how we now are acknowledging that Bollywood has glorified stalking, and eve teasing which was very romanticized. Now, we have shifted our expectations to more understandable and with broad mindsets. So, things should ease out. right? but it isn’t the case.

With the rise of internet and technology, we are just one swipe away from dating someone. With thousands of options, it is even more difficult to find an exclusive partner. And even when you find the one, who is compatible. You’ll always be questioning yourself like “if they’re right for you”, “are you doing a mistake”, or “are you missing out on things”. Now I can’t deny that everyone has issues nobody is truly perfect. Sometimes your partner may not be ready, or sometimes you might not be ready, they might be scarred from previous experiences, or maybe you’re too avoidant in relationships. Except for some, others can be corrected with some efforts and communication. What this instant reward gaining environment has done to our youth is honestly, called the loss of patience.  

But, how can we complain when we were the one who wanted it?  we wanted us to have these choices but we also forgot that humans are almost never good at it. Making a choice is lightning up millions of neurons, it’s very much stressful and we don’t want to do it. Now, I’m not saying humans shouldn’t be given freedom at all. But freedom to choose between several compatible, attractive people needs quite a decision-making skill. We evolved from sending letter that might take few days to texting instantly anytime, anywhere. What an easy way to communicate! but with ease comes low efforts. Now that you can text anyone, anytime you can create yourself, you get to introduce them to your best personality. It’s amazing! But easily could be frustrating. Although I’m not against online dating or texting because of the pandemic, its honestly the only way one can communicate but I just can’t ignore that modern dating is tricky and quite irritating at times.

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