By- Harshita Kesharwani

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Harshita Kesharwani


Why do kids lie. What can parents do about it?do


"Why Kids Lie and What Parents Can Do About It"

Children are like the mud, and the parents are like the potter. The way the mud is shaped by a potter to make it a pot or to make it in a definite shape in the same way parents shape the way they want their child to be. Parents are the first teacher in a child’s life. Parents play an important role to make their child learn about honesty and dishonesty. Parents never teach something wrong to their child but due to different factors the child starts lying, and it becomes the matter of concern for the parents. 

Why do children lie? 

Young children aging 4-5 generally starts lying, they make long stories and tell. It is normal activity and done by almost all children. Rather I should say its child psychology and all the children face this stage.

Learning how to lie is the part of child’s development-but so is learning to tell the truth. When children reach the age to go to school they realize that his /her parents are not the mind reader, he/she can say the things which he/she likes. They might lie more at the school age and can be better at lying. Now the child has better understanding and can lie in a better way. Reaching the age of 8, a child becomes expert in lying and can tell a lie without being caught. 

There are different factors due to which children lie:

  • Needs: When the needs of the child are not fulfilled by their parents they start lying so that their needs can be enhanced and fulfilled. For e.g.: “Ram required a bike, but according to his parents he is very young to ride a bike, so his parents denied for the same. Ram says a lie that all his friends have a bike”. So this is very common.
  • To hide difficulties: Most of the children lie because they do not want to show that they are struggling, that is they cope up with the challenges.
  • To hide their mistakes: This is a very common factor that is done by every child, they try to hide their mistakes whenever they fell that they are wrong. They lie because they decide the circumstances immediately after doing the mistake and avoid themselves to be judged or punished so they hide their wrong doing.
  • To hide their emotions: Some children lie because they do not want to be highlighted, and lie that they are very happy but they are not. They try to hide their emotions so that no one can get to know about the problem.
  • Due to fear: Children lie because they are afraid of punishment and they are afraid how I will be treated after my parents know about me. They are majorly afraid from their parents that how will they respond when they hear about their child.
  • To make themselves sound better: Children lie to make themselves sound better and to make their story more exciting. To make themselves superior in some cases from others.
  • To get attention: They try to seek attention from their parents when he/ she know that they already know.

How parents need to deal with this?

 The children should not be praised for telling a lie or parents should not let their child know that lying is ok. Parents can exaggerate their child and make jokes of their lie. Parents should be friendly enough with their child so that their child can share all the thoughts and facts and never lie. Parents should not punish their children for common lies they should be treated in a pleasant way and should try to understand their thoughts. Parents should make their children to understand the consequences of lying. If the child lies frequently then it is ok but lying deliberately is not ok, parents should make their children understand that lying is not ok and take a strict action if lying is in habit. Parent’s needs to focus at child’s changing environment and help him/her to avoid from the situations which will encourage them to lie or makes them feel that lying is ok. Parents should convince their child to understand the effectiveness of honesty, and give their children assurance that he/she will be safe if he/she is honest. This builds the self esteem in their children. Parents should be frank with their children and make them realize that honesty is the best policy.

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