The dating game is always awkwardly eventful! Whether you are rendezvousing in the park for a picnic (YAY welcome spring), hitting up a grungy NYC dive bar, or going out to meet friends, sometimes you find yourself in some seriously unfamiliar (or unknown) territory. No matter what sort of date you are embarking on, we have the ULTIMATE tips from the amazing founder of eFlirt and author of Love @ First Click Laurie Davis. You’re totally welcome!
Up first we have your typical first date spot. According to Davis, the max time stay on a dive bar date is about 90 minutes – and it all comes down to the energy of the evening.
“Have you ever felt “friend fatigue” even with your BFF? That moment when you feel like – OK, I love you but I’m ready to leave? With someone new in your life, this fatigue happens much sooner and you want to head home before it happens. Consider that it’s an energy curve — you want to leave when you’re at the peak NOT on the decline!” says Davis. “The decline leaves you both thinking, “Well, I guess that was fun” even if it was the best date ever earlier in the night, and it could impact your chances of getting a second date. That said, if it’s NOT a great date, leave sooner! You’re only obliged to stay for one drink, then you can head home.”
When you are on a picnic date, it is all about open body language. Chemistry is key, baby!
“When you’re on a picnic blanket, it’s easy to engage your power centers. When people use the term “open body language” it means having these three areas unrestricted: your neck dimple (the area where men have Adam's apples), your belly button, and your pelvis,” says Davis. “When you sit behind a table at a wine bar or other place, everything except your neck dimple is out of view, so it’s tough to show him you’re interested non-verbally. Keep this in mind while you’re on your picnic and leave those areas open!”
Every girl wants to go see a rom-com on a date, but the (somewhat obvious) truth? This is NOT what a guy wants.
“Better to see something with a lot of action, like a Marvel movie, that has a romantic sub-plot to give you both “all the feels” but also give you both some adrenaline for conversation after the movie,” Davis advises. “It also gives you so many great opportunities for physical connections too – you can grab his arm during a moment of surprise or hold his hand when things get suspenseful.”
A good sign, you are heading into an intimate setting – his SPACE. Offer to be his helping hand, he will love it!
“First: if you like his space, make sure you compliment something specific within it. Our space often speaks to our personality, so it will mean a lot,” says Davis. “Secondly, pitch in a little on some of the cooking fun. Offer to be his sous chef or make a quick dessert. Doing this activity together will create another great memory together and let you both see what it would be like to work together – teamwork is a huge part of a relationship.”
On a fancy dinner, offer to split the bill (he will decline) – and buy cocktails after!
“Here’s the thing: paying for the bill is really a sign of appreciation. Even if he declines to let you split the check, it’s a nice gesture to show you appreciate him. And if he declines, PUT YOUR PURSE AWAY. No arguing, just smile and say thank you. He’ll appreciate the gesture even if he doesn’t take you up on it,” Davis suggests. “Fancy dinner dates are all about the cocktails afterward anyway! If it’s going well, ask him to grab a nightcap and offer to take care of your drinks. After a more formal evening, it gives you a chance to let your hair down a little and cozy up a bit after sitting across the table from one another.”
Whatever you do, let him (think) that he is teaching you the rules of the game.
“A great guy is also a great teacher – he’ll love that not only haven’t you been to a game before but that you don’t know what’s going on. It gives him a chance to be the leader a bit in the relationship and teach you about the game,” says Davis. “The more you get into it, the more he’ll feel like you’re connecting, so whatever you do, keep cheering! A date like this is awesome because it creates a really strong memory of the two of you and that’s a big part of a relationship – creating memories together!”
Take the opportunity to get your dance on together.
“At a club where the music is pumping and you won’t be able to hear each other as well, talk with your BODIES by dancing. If he’s resistant, play coy. Start shaking your hips, grab his hand into the crowd, and he’ll have a hard time not following suit,” Davis advises. “It’s awesome if you’re a dancing queen because he’ll get to see you in your element. Don’t forget that! Your confidence in your body will be appealing.”
Here’s the scoop: it’s not really a date. I know it is SUPER intimidating to meet friends, but if you like him, there is no doubt you will like them too.
“This is purely a chance to get to know his entire world – friends and all – and for him to see if you fit within it. Make sure that you equally engage him AND the others in the group. It’s important you bond with his friends when you can because you never know when you’ll see them again,” says Davis.